The urge to give new parents or pregnant people unsolicited advice is strong. It’s such a challenging part of life that you want to impart wisdom on them to make it a little easier… but that can get annoying. So if they want it from, they now know where to find it!! If you’re also someone who struggles not to give advice to new parents, tell them what you’re dying to say below!
Advice for the pregnant:
Lift weights— I did not take this advice. This was good advice. I should have taken it. Even just little free weights.
Treat pregnancy like a vacation— I did take this advice. I did whatever I wanted. I had lunches with friends and took long walks and had prenatal massages and went to museums. I went to concerts and broadway shows and soaked up every second of my “freedom.”
Don’t buy maternity clothes, just buy clothes in bigger sizes. This actually is incredibly good advice, as you’ll likely be wearing these clothes your first year post-partum anyways.
Register for food delivery gift cards!!!
(CONTENT WARNING: BODY IMAGE!!!!!! WEIGHT!!!! FOOD!!!) I was constantly binge eating pregnant and if I were to re-do I would have had a much healthier diet. I gained a ridiculous amount of weight because I drank bobba tea EVERY SINGLE DAY and was often getting ice cream TWICE per day.
Advice for prepping for birth:
Bring your own pillow!! Bring your own linens!! Don’t forget chapstick, a stroller fan, and f*ck the haters— sneak in a snack. Oh and also download shows on Netflix, the hospital will likely have no good tv.
Getting induced is not the worst thing in the world, not even close. But don’t do it just because you want your baby evicted from your body. It’s really painful and makes the labor process so much longer.
Make sure you have at least one set of nursing bras and one can of the formula you plan to try first. I say first because it may take some trail and error. My baby got really gassy with Bobbi, Kendamil is perfect for him, but it took him a little bit of time to get used to the taste.
If breastfeeding is EASY for you, it will make your life 100000% easier. If it’s causing you extreme distress and anxiety, it will just make your life harder. In my opinion, it’s worth trying (just for convenience, it’s like baby xanex), but fed is obvi best.
Obviously your partner should be your support person, but i’d add one more person to your list incase you’re in labor for a long time and your partner needs to shower or take a short nap. I was in labor for 36 hours, and for 4-5 hours my mom just fed me ice, read my texts to me, and chatted up my doctors. It was really helpful, especially since my husband had no experience giving birth and just kept telling me I was “doing great.”
Advice for new parents:
If you don’t have a good pair of wireless headphones, give that to yourself as a push present. Then download the “libby” app, input your library card info, and request like 10 celebrity memoirs. They will keep you company as you hold a baby that isn’t particularly interesting company.
Linen swaddles are so cute… but you know what’s so much better? VELCRO SWADDLES!!! If I could give one single piece of advice for a new parent, it would be to switch to these immediately. I never learned how to swaddle my baby, and I have no regrets.
Have designated jobs, and anticipate that there will be changes and adjustments that need to be made each month/quarter. If you’re breastfeeding, your partner is on diaper/poop patrol. Even if you’re breastfeeding, I would recommend introducing a bottle early on at least once a day to ensure that your co-parent is feeding the baby as well. They should also clean the bottles if you’re pumping, because cleaning bottles is annoying and you just gave birth so you shouldn’t have to do it!!
SHIFTS ARE SO IMPORTANT! When Sebastian was a newborn I was in charge of the 2am feeding, because that time on the clock didn’t bother me, and Ben did the 5am, because he’s way more of a morning person. This gave us both ~5 hour stretches of sleep… which is amazing.
Try to get them on a schedule where they go down for a nap every 3 hours. This may not work for everyone, but when my friend Sophie suggested I try this it literally changed my life. It also made it so we were able to sleep train Sebastian and now he consistently has slept through the night since 7 months old (before that it was hit or miss.)
Extremely specific advice:
If you want to take your kid to a museum, get them used to stroller naps. Give them a bottle right before you get there, let them fall asleep before you walk in, and take it ONE EXHIBIT AT A TIME! Plan what you want to see in advance, and when you get to see it— leave. That’s a win, take it! Obviously make sure you’re signed up for CULTURE PASS!
Carry a picnic blanket around with you at all times in your stroller. This is mostly city parent advice, but spontaneous park hangs are the best.
Baby sunglasses are a waste of money, but they’ll probably wear a hat for awhile if you start them early.
POSHMARK is the best place to buy kids clothes if you like really specific brands (Ralph Lauren, Janie & Jack) but don’t appreciate their prices!
Now it’s your turn… what advice do you have for me as I approach the 9 month mark?